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“You have arrived at this page because somewhere deep inside you — beneath the scar tissue, beneath the decades of disappointment, beneath the coaching carousels and the missed field goals and the trades that looked good in April — there is a fan who still believes. We salute you.”

What You Actually Get

Fuller content of the day’s top stories — for all 32 NFL teams, every single day.

Free subscribers see the front page headlines and teasers, team by team. All-Access subscribers get the full articles — every story, complete, delivered to your inbox every day, for every NFL team in the network, not just this one. Same articles. Just longer. Fuller. The whole thing. No “keep reading.”

Plus Seven Weeks of Bonus Content.
One Per Week. Every Cycle. Every Team.

Every All-Access subscriber gets one bonus content piece per week, every week, rotating through all seven formats — and it is not limited to one team. Your subscription unlocks the full Bonus Content library across all 32 NFL team sites in the network. Here is exactly what that looks like on the Jets page specifically — the full thing, live, right here, so you know exactly what you are getting before you spend a single dime.

Week One — You Get This
Real Fake Trivia Game

A full Jeopardy-style board built entirely around your team’s history, lore, disasters, and occasional moments of glory. Four categories. Five clues each. $200 through $1,000. The $1,000 questions are genuinely hard. We verified every fact. We are not kidding about that part. Click on any one of the boxes and start the game!

The Gang Green File Broadway Joe’s Guarantee The Glenn Rebuild Fifteen Years and Counting
$200$200$200$200
$400$400$400$400
$600$600$600$600
$800$800$800$800
$1,000$1,000$1,000$1,000

That’s Week One. Next week you get this →

Week Two — You Get This
Classified Ads

Nine satirical classified ads, three columns, all team-specific. FOR SALE. WANTED. LOST & FOUND. HELP WANTED. ANNOUNCEMENT. NOTICE. PERSONALS. OBITUARIES. The CONTACT line is always the punchline. Always.

For Sale

One (1) Quarterback Drought — 2011 Through 2025, Fully Documented

The Jets have not made the playoffs since the 2010 season. They have tried Sanchez, Tebow, Geno Smith (first time), Darnold, Wilson, Rodgers (four plays), and various bridge solutions. They now have Geno Smith again. A. Glenn has confirmed Smith will lead them to the promised land.

ContactA. Glenn. He is the head coach. He is on the hot seat. He has Geno Smith. He said this publicly. In Phoenix. Under the Arizona sun.
Wanted

A Playoff Appearance — Last Confirmed 2010, Sixteen Seasons Outstanding

The longest active playoff drought in the NFL. They now have Geno Smith, who threw 17 interceptions with the Raiders in 2025. A. Glenn has no doubt Smith is the right quarterback. He considers it a homecoming.

ContactJets Nation. They have been waiting since 2010. They now have the original Geno Smith back. They are processing this information.
Lost & Found

Missing: Aaron Rodgers — Tore Achilles on Play 4, Never Fully Recovered as a Jet

Rodgers was acquired in 2023 with enormous fanfare and tore his Achilles on the fourth play of the season. He departed for Pittsburgh in 2025. The Jets received Rodgers for two seasons. One was four plays.

ContactThe fourth play. It is documented. It has been reviewed many times. The Jets have Geno Smith now.
Help Wanted

Sustained Competence — Position Has Been Vacant Since January 2011

The Jets went 3–14 in 2025. A. Glenn is in Year 2 on the hot seat. F. Reich has been hired as offensive coordinator. The pieces are being assembled. The assembly has previously not resulted in a playoff appearance.

ContactF. Reich. He has coordinated before. He is aware of what happened with those previous teams. He has Geno Smith.
Announcement

Official Statement: The Promised Land Is Identified, Geno Smith Has the Coordinates

A. Glenn has confirmed Geno Smith will lead the team to the promised land. The postseason has not been visited since 2010. G. Smith threw 17 interceptions in 2025. The Jets are monitoring this variable.

ContactThe promised land. It notes the Jets have been attempting to locate it since 2010. The Jets are trying a new driver.
For Sale

The Aaron Rodgers Experiment — Two Seasons, Four Plays Healthy, Fully Concluded

One torn Achilles on play four of 2023, one underwhelming 2024 return, a departure to Pittsburgh in 2025, and a thorough HBO documentary. The promised land was not reached during the experiment.

ContactHBO Hard Knocks. It documented the experiment. It filmed the fourth play in high definition. It is not for sale. It is already everywhere.
Notice

Attn: AFC East — We Have David Bailey, Garrett Wilson, and a Renewed Sense of Urgency

The Jets selected D. Bailey at No. 2 overall and assembled significant offensive weapons around G. Smith. The Jets have Geno Smith, who has been to the promised land before, in Seattle, and would like to go again.

ContactThe AFC East. It has received this notice. The Patriots and Bills are focused on each other. It wishes them well. Sincerely.
Personals

Seeking: January Football — Jets Nation Has Been Here Since 2010, Still Green, Still Present

Have watched sixteen seasons without a playoff game. Have watched Geno Smith, Tebow, Sanchez, Darnold, Wilson, and Rodgers (four plays). Have Geno Smith again. Still wearing green. Still hoping. Any January. Just one.

ContactJets Nation. They are still here. They have been ready since 2010. The readiness has been well-maintained.
Obituaries

The 2025 New York Jets Season — Record 3–14, Passed Quietly in January

Passed in January 2026, following a 3–14 season in which the quarterback situation was described as fluid. It is survived by A. Glenn, G. Smith, F. Reich, and Jets Nation, who showed up for all 17 games regardless.

ContactJanuary. It has the Jets’ file. The file shows one entry since 2010 — a first-round exit. Geno Smith has been given the pen.

That’s Week Two. The week after that you get this →

Week Three — You Get This
Top Ten List

A full team-specific Top Ten list. Completely deadpan. Treats every item with total journalistic seriousness. The list below is a sample. Yours will be specific to your team’s particular situation, history, and ongoing triumphs and disasters.

Top Ten Things You Can Buy for $24 at MetLife Stadium
  • 10.One domestic beer. The small one. Not the large one. Do not ask about the large one. The large one is $29. You did not bring enough.
  • 9.One and a third domestic beers if you find someone who started one and lost interest. This is more common than you think at MetLife after the second quarter.
  • 8.A Jets jersey without a name on the back. This is not because they ran out of names. It is because the name you wanted is no longer on the team. The back remains blank as a precaution.
  • 7.Parking. Just kidding. Parking is $40. Your $24 gets you a long walk and a story you will tell for years.
  • 6.One soft pretzel and a water. The pretzel arrived at the game before you did. It left the oven sometime in the previous administration. It is still technically warm in the sense that the sun is technically warm from 93 million miles away.
  • 5.A foam finger indicating the Jets are number one. The foam finger does not update in real time. The standings do.
  • 4.Three souvenirs from the clearance bin featuring a quarterback who now plays for someone else. The discount reflects the roster move. The merchandise does not.
  • 3.One program from 2019. The starting quarterback has since changed. And changed again. The program remains optimistic. The program cannot be updated. The program has accepted this.
  • 2.Four months of this subscription. Which includes 16 pieces of premium satirical content, a trivia game, classified ads, a children’s book, and a staff that watches Jets football so closely it can spot a Geno Smith eyebrow raise from the press box. That’s dedication money can’t usually buy. Here it can, for $24.
  • 1.Hope. Available at the main concourse near Section 114. Expires at halftime. Non-refundable. The Jets fan who sold it to you means well. They always mean well. Bless them.

    • That’s Week Three. Week Four brings this →

    Week Four — You Get This
    Fake eBay Listing

    Seven team-specific fake eBay listings, ready to go every cycle, styled exactly like the real site — photo, description, seller, and current bid. The items are always something your team has misplaced, squandered, or never possessed. Reserve has not been met, and never may be met.

    Aaron Rodgers’ Dead Cap Space — $48M — Framed
    Seller: metlife_accounting_dept
    Condition: Philosophically Compromised
    A framed, archival-quality certificate representing $48,000,000 in dead cap space allocated to a quarterback who played one game in two seasons. The certificate is authentic. The math is also authentic.
    $48,000,000
    current bid
    Geno Smith’s Comeback Arc — Laminated
    Seller: jets_qb_carousel_official
    Condition: Surprisingly Resilient
    A laminated timeline of Geno Smith’s career, beginning in 2013, including a brief departure, several stops elsewhere, a return, and a 2026 starting job. The timeline has been updated twelve times.
    $12
    current bid
    The QB Carousel — Hand-Crafted — 14 Horses, All Different QBs
    Seller: metlife_stadium_gift_shop
    Condition: Perpetually Spinning
    A hand-crafted miniature carousel featuring fourteen horses, each painted to represent a different Jets starting quarterback from the last decade. It has not stopped since 2013. Batteries not included.
    $1,400
    current bid
    Breece Hall’s Highlight Reel — USB Drive
    Seller: jets_offense_archives
    Condition: Excellent
    A USB drive containing 47 minutes of Breece Hall highlight footage. Every run is on here. Every moment where you thought, briefly, that everything was going to be fine. The feeling it gives you is complicated.
    $3,100
    current bid
    Garrett Wilson’s Patience Award — Engraved
    Seller: nfl_awards_committee_unofficial
    Condition: Well-Deserved
    An engraved crystal award for Outstanding Achievement in Waiting For A Quarterback. The engraving reads: “He caught everything they threw at him. And some things they didn’t.”
    $8,800
    current bid
    MetLife Stadium Noise Canceling Headphones — Game-Used
    Seller: metlife_lost_and_found
    Condition: Battle-Tested
    One pair of noise-canceling headphones recovered from the coaches’ booth following a home game, still running. The noise they were canceling has not been identified. The source remains under investigation.
    $275
    current bid
    Aaron Glenn’s Optimism — Bottled — Limited Edition
    Seller: jets_coaching_staff_surplus
    Condition: Genuinely Infectious
    One bottle of Aaron Glenn’s optimism, harvested at the start of Year 2. Glenn has described 2026 as “a new chapter,” “a turning point,” and “the year it clicks.” Shake before use. Results may vary.
    $99
    current bid

    That’s Week Four. Then comes this →

    Week Five — You Get This
    The Outer Limits Enquirer

    One team-specific Outer Limits Enquirer front page, every cycle. Completely straight-faced. It sells itself — that’s how funny it is.

    ■ Transmission Received — Parallel Universe Dispatch ■
    Outer Limits Enquirer — Jets edition front page
    Signal Strong — Standing By

    That’s Week Five. Week Six delivers this →

    Week Six — You Get This
    NFL Competition Committee Proposes

    Four new proposed NFL rules, each presented with complete regulatory seriousness. The title is always “THE NFL COMPETITION COMMITTEE PROPOSES:” followed by the rule name. Three to five sentences of deadpan satire. A new batch of four rules, every seven-week cycle.

    Official Proposal 1 of 4 — NFL Competition Committee — 2026 Season

    The NFL Competition Committee Proposes:
    The Feelings Rule

    Effective immediately, any player who is visibly sad after a penalty will be allowed to challenge the call on emotional grounds. The replay official will review the player’s expression in slow motion. If certified “genuinely devastated” by a panel of three therapists stationed in the press box, the penalty is waived. The Dallas Cowboys have already filed 847 pre-season challenges.

    Official Proposal 2 of 4 — NFL Competition Committee — 2026 Season

    The NFL Competition Committee Proposes:
    Mandatory Honesty From Coaches

    Starting in 2026, head coaches will be required to answer one post-game question with complete honesty. The question will be selected at random by a wheel spin. Early testing was abandoned after three coaches resigned, one cried, and Bill Belichick’s honest answer was legally classified as a threat.

    Official Proposal 3 of 4 — NFL Competition Committee — 2026 Season

    The NFL Competition Committee Proposes:
    The Participation Fumble

    In an effort to make fumbles less discouraging, any fumble recovered by the opposing team will now be referred to as an “unintentional lateral.” The player who fumbled will receive a certificate of effort. The team that recovered it will receive six points. Both outcomes will be celebrated equally on the official broadcast.

    Official Proposal 4 of 4 — NFL Competition Committee — 2026 Season

    The NFL Competition Committee Proposes:
    Announcer Accuracy Ratings

    All play-by-play announcers will now be graded in real time by a panel of former players. Phrases such as “he just wanted it more,” “that’s a football player right there,” and “you cannot teach that” will trigger an automatic fine of $500 per occurrence. Early projections suggest the league will be debt-free by Week 3.

    That’s Week Six. And saving the best for last →

    Week Seven — You Get This
    The Children’s Book
    A Landolfi Media Original

    A fully illustrated satirical children’s book, team-specific, written for the fan who has a child who needs to understand why Sunday afternoons are like this. The illustrations are beautiful. The subject matter is not. Both things are intentional.

    Your Team’s Complete Illustrated History — Included With Every Subscription
    “From the Polo Grounds to… Still Waiting”
    The Story of the New York Jets — Read the Full Book Below, Cover to Last Page
    From the Polo Grounds to... Still Waiting — page viewer
    From the Polo Grounds to... Still Waiting
    The Story of the New York Jets.
    A Landolfi Media Children’s Book.
    Page 1 of 11
    Complete Illustrated History · Cover + 10 Pages · Included With Paid Subscription

    In the upcoming weeks and months with your paid subscription, you can also look forward to titles like these:

    Also In Development — Next Release
    “Why Does Daddy Cry On Sundays?”
    A heartwarming story about a father, his team, and the annual tradition of explaining to a seven-year-old why the season is technically over in Week Eleven. Daddy is going to be okay. He has been through this before. He loves his team. That is the whole story.
    In Development · Fully Illustrated · Coming Soon
    Also In Development
    “Daddy’s Team Is Very Special (Just Not At Football)”
    A celebration of everything a football team can be excellent at besides winning football games. The uniforms are nice. The stadium is large. The merchandise is widely available. A story about finding joy in the details when the scoreboard is unkind.
    In Development · Fully Illustrated · Coming Soon
    Also In Development
    “The Night We Almost Made the Playoffs”
    A timeless bedtime story about a very special evening in December when everything was possible. The math worked out. The other teams lost. The tickets were being researched. And then the fourth quarter happened. A story about hope, arithmetic, and the importance of not checking the score too early.
    In Development · Fully Illustrated · Coming Soon

    What Subscribers Are Saying

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    — Anonymous · Joint Subscription · Bergen County, N.J.
    “I read the Children’s Book to my actual children. They understood it immediately. They are seven and four. I am not sure what that says about any of us but we have all renewed.”
    — T. Namath Jr., Beaver Falls, Pa. · Family Subscription
    “I told my therapist about the eBay listing for the Super Bowl window. She said, quote, ‘that’s oddly specific and also correct.’ Insurance doesn’t cover this newsletter. It should.”
    — M. Delgado, Secaucus, N.J. · 8-Month Subscriber
    “My father-in-law asked why I was laughing alone in the garage. I showed him the trivia board. He subscribed before he left the driveway.”
    — K. Osei, Inglewood, Calif. · 3-Month Subscriber
    “Cancelled twice out of loyalty-related guilt. Resubscribed twice out of everything else. This is now just a monthly donation to my own sense of humor.”
    — Anonymous · Auto-Renew, No Regrets
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    All Access — Every Team
    $9/mo

    Everything in Free, plus full daily articles and one new Bonus Content drop every week on a rotating seven-week cycle — a fan trivia game, a fake eBay auction, classified ads, The Outer Limits Enquirer, a children’s book parody, a Top Ten List, and an NFL Competition Committee ruling — for all 32 NFL teams in the network, the Jets included. Plus the complete archive, for every team, from day one.

    Go All Access
    30¢

    Per Day. For Every Team. That Is All We Are Asking.

    $9 per month…just 30 cents / day. That works out to be 3 dimes exactly, or a quarter and a nickel. And it is no longer just one team — that 30 cents covers full articles and Bonus Content for all 32 NFL teams in the network. We are asking you to spend the cost of approximately nothing to have your suffering (and everyone else’s) witnessed, documented, and returned to you in a funnier format than it arrived.

    Other Things You Could Buy for 30¢
    ( If For Some Reason You Really and Truly Didn’t Want to Laugh Today )

    1. A quarter at a vending machine, with a nickel left over. That nickel is yours to keep. It is the only refund this list offers.
    2. Just under a third of a gumball from a machine that still exists somewhere in 1987.
    3. The look on someone’s face when you tell them you subscribe to a satirical NFL newsletter that covers all 32 teams. That look is free. The newsletter is 30 cents a day.
    4. A little over a third of a postage stamp. Stamps are about 80¢ now. Your 30¢ covers roughly the top third. This is not enough to mail anything to anyone. This subscription delivers considerably more — for every NFL team.
    5. About three-quarters of a birthday candle. The kind from the dollar store 10-pack. It will burn for a little over a minute. This subscription burns considerably longer, covers every NFL team, and produces significantly more joy and marginally less wax.
    6. 0.00002% of your team’s starting quarterback’s daily salary. He earns more between breakfast and the first snap than you will spend on this subscription in a year. This year that figure also covers 31 other starting quarterbacks’ teams. We thought you should know that. We are not sure why. It felt relevant.
    7. Nothing at a parking meter in any American city built after 1990. The meter will reject your 30 cents. We will not reject your 30 cents. We will give you seven weeks of content for it — for every NFL team.
    8. A shot glass of gasoline, which might be just enough to get you to an ATM to take out $9 for your first month of All-Access. The math works. The metaphor also works. Please do not drink the gasoline.

    Hey — you’ve made it this far. You’ve looked at all seven weeks of bonus content you’ll be receiving — for all 32 NFL teams, not just this one. You’ve also seen that you’ll be getting daily, full-length headline articles from the entire network — every side article, too. Obviously you love your team with a passion to have lasted this long and smiled this much.

    Yep. We can see you.

    There’s nothing left to do but spend the 30¢ / day and have this feeling — for every NFL team — last the whole year through.

    I mean really — what more is there to think about? Do you want to smile today (and every day) or not?

    “By subscribing you acknowledge that you are a fan in good standing, that you have suffered, that you will continue to suffer, and that $9 per month is a reasonable fee for having that suffering — and the suffering of 31 other NFL fanbases — witnessed and documented with the respect it deserves. Cancel anytime. Your team will not cancel anything. Neither will the other 31. They will all be here next season. And the season after that.”

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    Landolfi Media LLC · We Put The Parity In Parody · All Content Satirical · All Pain Real